you've always had the power. you've always had it, my dear.

I imagined myself as an old woman the other day. I had papery skin and white hair, and my percosious grand daughter was visiting me, asking about my life. She wanted to know how Seth and I met and what did I do on weekends and did I really wear that?
After sharing some stories and cookies (mmm I still loved cookies) she set her gaze and asked me "So what did you do with your life?"
For a moment, I remembered all too well the many hours I spent trying to beat that level on angry birds. I felt inadequate and embarrassed about the things I hadn't done. And then.. I remembered that time I hiked the grand canyon from rim to rim.. twice. And how I went sky diving in hawaii. I told her about how I fell in love and got married in the temple- forever. I became a mother raised my children. I read a billion books and listened to amazing music. I met the backstreet boys. I moved out when I was 18 and made life long friends. I fought many fights, cried a lot and laughed even more. I went to all of the Harry Potter premiers. I helped rebuild houses in New Orleans after katrina. I went to new england with my grandpa my mom and my aunt. I learned to cook. I camped in the wild. I made friends and I made enemies. I was very close with my sisters. I owned a dog and she was the one who first made me a mother. I painted and grew a garden. I took photos. I worked a lot of different jobs- janitor, print expert, retail, dry cleaner, office worker. I was sealed in the temple to my family. I wrote a lot and I danced, but I was only good at the first. I cartwheeled. I ran. I went a lot of places and saw how the sun looked there. I learned about my family history. I was best friends with my Great Grandma while she was here. I cleaned a lot! I went river fishing. I went to school and became a teacher.

When I look at it this way, I realize just how full my life has been. I have been spending so much time worrying about how to make it meaningful that I missed it, running right past me, twirling and waving and breathing hard.

Just take it in.