and so it goes

i wonder
every now and again
about the way things work out
how they started and
what it means about how they'll end
terrifed
that's how i am most of the time
i'm not that way
come on
closing throat, clammy hands
thriving
that's the way i want to be
in front of my face, on my right and left
roll with it, laugh with it, chase the sinking feeling away

am i afraid of happiness?