swiftys,

(aka centipedes)
here's the thing. we are not friends. i know that i like most creeping things that creepeth, but you are ugly and for that you will be hanged. metaphorically. and i actually don't like any creepies- i only like furry things. except you are furry too. see what i'm getting at? you're un-categorizable, you have a billion legs. i don't care if you eat spiders, that is not a plus because i like spiders more than you. i wish spiders ate you. they only have eight legs- eight little legs. what i'm saying here is- we have to break up. for good. i want you out of my life, gone. everything you own in the box to the left.

thank you kindly,
karlee

ps. your universal nickname is 'swifty' for pete's sake! you understand, don't you?

pss. you, yeah you, reading this post: click here to meet a swifty --if you dare.