the waiting place.

I closed my eyes and the buttery sun stained the backs of my eyelids. The air was warm but crisp and a light breeze lingered around the edges. It was morning. I stood in the middle of a valley. I found myself here, standing in the soft grass and wondering at the pinky sky, after traveling through much different places. Places that were barren and jagged. Places full of creeping things and loneliness. Places that forever leave a mark on a person, though ultimately that mark can become a peculiar kind of beauty. I had stumbled for days through gray things and my own fear, when gradually I began to see a warm coloring on the rocks. As I turned the last corner, walking faster now in my renewed curiosity, I found myself entering a vast, open land. There I sank into the dewy ground and stayed. Sometimes staying is an act of bravery. For although the travels I had just endured were hard and cold, I felt at one with them and I nearly had the sense to turn right around and re-enter that shadowy rock canyon. But no. Not for me. I stayed at the edge of the valley and waited. Sometimes waiting is an act of courage. Eventually I gathered the strength to stand up and look around, finding that just ahead I could make out the beginnings of a road. As I approached the dusty path, it became apparent to me that there was not just one road, but many, all leading out in opposite directions so that there was a full circle in the center of the start of each path. And it was then that I closed my eyes against that yellow sun and felt my heart beat gratefully.



i am looking all around me at the many roads sprawled out to the horizon. i want them all at once and yet i know that would mean only pieces of me on each road, rather than all of me on one. and so i must choose. i feel the anticipation of embarking on a grand adventure. yes, i feel i am on the cusp of sparked air and windy mysteries. just knowing that i am in the phase of asking which road is best at this time refreshes my spirit and dims the memories of those hard days. and i want to enjoy this most of all. i want to revel in the quiet pondering and asking and preparing, and it's okay if i stand here in this circle at the start of each path for a while.