dragging feet- not cold though.

let me tell you, i really worry sometimes that my little seth is going to get icy feet! with all my craziness, moodiness, overwhelmed-ness.. it's a wonder all he does is call me a brat while rubbing my back to calm me down. haha, i am kind of a brat lately.
i swear it's not my fault! birth control alone could be blamed for craziness. add on money issues, time issues, and family issues and it's just not a good situation.
oh, but it is. it still really is. through all of the stress, there is a constant feeling of love and even humor over the situation. like, this has happened to families and couples all over the world. enjoy these moments. at least i feel more alive now than i probably ever have. i have to actually think hard and feel hard every single day. more like every single minute.
i guess i'm probably feeling guilty. i could make this a more enjoyable time if i had an attitude adjustment. i could be loving and friendly and helpful. less selfish. less concerned and work-upable. we have exactly one month left, and i am deciding at this moment to commit to my dear parents, sisters, and fiance that i will strive every day to be the lovely, bright, happy girl that i am.
the wedding will come and go, and we will only be left with these memories- and i want to make them good!

in other news... we have one month left. one. which seems too long to wait but too short to finish planning.
for example, here's what 'the knot' says i still have left to do:

inalize your wedding guest list.


Make sure everyone in the wedding party is aware of what you expect of them -- especially your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Provide a list of duties to the maid of honor and a list of to-dos to the best man.


Brides: Decide on the bridesmaid dresses.

Grooms: Start looking to buy or rent your tux, suit, or other formal attire.

Book a hotel room for your wedding night.

Grooms: Decide on your groomsmen's formalwear. Let the guys know and ask them to get fitted for their tuxes (if need be).

Start addressing wedding invitations or drop them off with the calligrapher

Grooms: Give all of the groomsmen the info they need to buy and/or reserve their attire.

Brides: Choose your bridesmaids' accessories (shoes, jewelry) and either buy or pass along purchasing information.

Brides: Put together a wedding beauty plan and make appointments at a nearby spa (massages, facials, etc). If you're considering whitening your teeth, this is the time to do it!

Gather all important documents that you'll need for an international honeymoon (passport, birth certificate, visas, vaccinations, etc).

Talk to your maid of honor and best man about any prewedding party plans (such as the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and bachelor party).

Finalize and confirm any special ceremony songs or ceremony readings with your VIPs (very important extras).

Arrange for all insurance policies to include you and your future spouse: health, auto, homeowner's, and life insurance.

Grooms: Choose and buy any accessories you will need (shoes, shirt stays, cuff links, pocket squares).

Brides: Provide a guest list to your bridesmaids for the bridal shower.

Arrange wedding day transportation for you, your wedding party, and guests (as needed).

Brides: Decide on and purchase your wedding veil and wedding shoes prior to your final dress fittings.

As you receive wedding gifts, be sure to update your online registries and record the gifts you get.

Submit your newspaper wedding announcement (if you were planning to).

Research local marriage license requirements.

Make a hair trial appointment to make sure you get the look you want on your wedding day.

Grooms: Attend your bachelor party (and be sure to thank the best man afterwards).

Brides: Attend final wedding-gown fitting.

Set aside some time to write thank-you notes for gifts received at the bridal shower.

Decide on what type of guest book you want. Make your own or shop online for guest books and guest book pens.

Have hair and makeup trial runs and finalize your wedding day beauty appointments. Don’t forget to bring your wedding veil to make sure it works with your style.

Work on a "must-play" wedding song list (and "do-not-play song list") for your DJ or band.

Get the marriage license and make appointments for blood tests (if necessary). Check when the license expires.

Confirm wedding-night and honeymoon reservations.

Brides: Get your final haircut, if necessary.

Work out wedding day timing and details (who will get the bride there, where the wedding party will dress, etc) and draw up a day-of schedule.
Brides: Make sure you have your garter and your "something old, new, borrowed, and blue" if you want to include these customs in your wedding.

Get a head start on those thank-you notes (it will feel great to get a batch out before the wedding).

Do all paperwork for official documents if you are changing your name.

+ our own:
find an apt
get skinnier
finish my classes by august 9th
pay off our photographer

now back to work. my blasted little hour lunch is OVER and all i did was blog and read blogs. good day.