one fine line

I've been thinking today about being humble. How can I be humble and yet confident? It seems like a juxtaposition, but I'm guessing that the two actually fit nicely hand in hand. How can I not be the very center of my world, but still care about what I want and do things that are good and important for me?
Some days I think pretty highly of myself and my life. There. That is something I should admit and put out there. I find in my head a war between thoughts like, "I am hot!" and "I am an idiotic stupid fat girl with nothing to offer." That sounds so vicious, and it's because it is. And what is even worse is that these thoughts are totally and unequivocally determined by what's going on around me and outside of me. Rather than from the inside, from my spirit, my very being is dictated by people and events and the weather for pete's sake!
I switch between feeling really good about my life and my choices and my hair to feeling really bad about everything. I don't think the switching is a chaotic, mood disorder type of switching if that's what you're thinking-- but I do notice a cycle rather than a steady balance. I know this is part of human nature and that in beating it I probably have to accept it, but I feel like what really needs to happen is that I, Karlee, need to recognize my lack of knowledge! I need to be humbled. 
I need to realize what I don't know, what I haven't felt, what I can't offer. I need to accept advice and teaching and I need to be like a child.
But I am afraid. I know that humbling experiences hurt. I feel like I have been through some humbling experiences in my young life-but even just saying that makes me squirm in guilt, because there are people who starve, people who deal with addiction, people who lose loved ones, and my humbling experiences are .. shallow to say the least. How much of suffering is relative? Maybe what those things felt like to me could be what poverty feels like to somebody else. I don't know. And here I am again, reminded that I should be able to say that a lot more. I don't know. I do not know what I am doing. I don't know what you're going through. I don't know what real heart ache is. I don't know the answers. Am I willing to learn? Is it better to stay comfortably, ignorantly who you are at this moment, or is it better to step into the fire and only after you have been utterly tortured, find yourself refined and better for it?